https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzCtatDyVRc (love the background music it is a good one for my two) :) Maddie and Macaiden, it is the end of another school year...your 5th and 3rd year grade has come and gone faster than any year yet. This was the first year that daddy and I were not at the same school with you. We dropped you off in love, in hope, and yes...a little fear.
This past year not being at the same school as you (for those of you reading...Justin and I have been teachers for the past 10 years and have had the joy of having our two babies with us every day), led me to tears, led me to worry, and led me to a sense of pride and joy. Maddie, as I sit here tonight, YOU are about to go to Middle School. How on earth has this happened so fast? I remember being in church when you were a month old. Strangers would come up to me and say, "cherish these times, they go by so fast." I didn't realize it at the time....they flew by...maybe not to you, but they did to me my sweet girl. I watch you. I watch you when you have questions. I watch you when you see something that is unfamiliar. I watch you with your daddy. I watch you when you want to please. I watch you with your new friends. Please, please remember the narrow road. It is so hard. I am here! I am here to tell you that I have chosen the wide road many times, it was easy, it was what everyone else did. I am still tempted, whether you realize it or not right now...the wide road looks very enticing at times and on more than one occasion...I would rather choose it...the wide road. Maddie, choose the narrow one. Choose the road that might be hard but in the end makes you happy. Do not listen to everyone else but your own heart. More than anything, follow God. Follow God when it is hard. Follow God when no one else does. Follow God when you are in doubt and when you have no one to turn to. Explore. Make your dreams come true. Keep your worries small...know that your book is not finished. You are my Godsend Madelynn Renee Weise. God will use you. Catch the ball Maddie and don't drop it. Write your story. Macaiden, you are finishing third grade. I just got finished with a Mother's Day ceremony with you at school. I don't know where to begin. You have asked me...."if Morgan would have been born, would you have been alive?" I truly believe God brought you into our lives for a purpose. Morgan is in Heaven and God wants you here. God knew what He was doing when He placed you in my belly. Macaiden, I look up to you. Remember, when I have questions or when I don't understand what you are asking, it is not because I do not want to know...it is because I want to...so badly...I...want to know what it is you are asking. I want to get into your brain... and I want to understand on some level what you are thinking. You have brought me to understand an understanding of "what is" more than I have ever known. Things are "easy" for you. However, you are not showing off. It still bothers you. You want me, you want daddy, and Maddie to understand what you are thinking. I treasure this about you. Catch the ball Macaiden and don't drop it. Write your story. My Repurpose for today : remember the rest for you...for both of you... is still unwritten.
3 Comments
Casey
5/25/2016 11:01:30 am
I am balling my eyes out
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As I was going through various blogs of other students, yours really caught my eye. Before I even read your blog I decided to read your about section. I was pleasantly surprised to see another pastor's daughter. My biological father was never in the picture but my Uncle helped raise me as his own. Everyone called me his and he would kindly correct them and gently say, "I was the little girl he never had (he had ALL boys)." He is a southern baptist pastor and I was always in the limelight as well. I started getting into "boys," in my teenage years and I could never understand why the boys from church wouldn't talk to me. Later on I found out the obvious reason, "Who wanted to 'date' the pastors daughter?" Haha. Anyway, I can totally relate to the "shame," you felt with getting pregnant. I didn't get pregnant but I ran off soon after turning 18 and got married to a man that I had only known a month. Not the best decision but I do have 2 handsome little boys from the marriage, ages 7 and 3, and for that I am thankful. I didn't tell the family when I got married and decided to send out a Christmas letter announcing it. Boy the shock from the congregation and the family. Anyway, you live and learn and I've now moved on from that unhealthy marriage. Touching on your blog for a moment, I love how you are writing to your children. I wrote a letter to both of my children before they were born, but never thought to blog to them. What a neat idea. Well, I enjoyed your blog and look forward to reading your future adventures with your children :)
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Monica Lozano
5/31/2016 08:49:56 pm
Casey has pretty much summed up my emotions. But I would just like to say that I hope your children understand how caring and loving of a mother you are to them. I like this statement where you said, "my repurpose for today : remember the rest for you...for both of you... is still unwritten." Your blogpost really touched my heart and rings true that not everything is set in stone.
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