A first draft. Proofing. Editing. A first draft is a chance where a writer gets to make changes, erase mistakes, and change what he does not like...it gets thrown in the trash. So many times my sister and I (as "grown ups" now) joking say to my parents that one or the other is either "the favorite child," or "the perfect child." We joke all of the time and tell stories about which one of us got away with more or... who got in more trouble? I am a first born. My husband and I are BOTH first born children. I have always heard that it is never a good idea for the the same birth order to get married. I remember asking my mom about a year ago...."was there ever a child you worried or thought about more?" I know this sounds like a weird question, but it was one that I needed answered. Justin and I were blessed with my Maddie. It was unexpected and not planned, and to many "a mistake." One day (soon) I am going to have to explain everything to her. She saved our lives. I tell her all of the time that she has made me who I am today. No matter what anyone says, judges, or people who "had their say," my Maddie... is a gift from God...and if you know God...HE works in mysterious ways. I used to hate that my sister would have to watch my mistakes and then learn and not get punished for them. Why did I have to do them first and she learned from MY lessons? Why did what I did make her dismissed from what she could have done?! Unfortunately, I tell Maddie this ALL of the time (and probably why two of the oldest siblings should not be married)....sadly, being the oldest has it's downfalls (but also it's peaks)....our younger siblings learn from our mistakes. They learn when to not talk back, they learn the "proper way" to sneak out without getting caught, they learn how to be better. That is MY sister...which I.... am SO proud of! As a mom now...I love BOTH of my children equally. I could never give one up over the other....but if you asked my which one I think or worry about more....I would say Maddie. She is the oldest. I know that she is going to get into trouble. I know she is going to make mistakes. I know her brother will watch...and learn. My one and only prayer for both of my children is for them to be their own self....one thing that was always difficult for me. I want them to follow God. I want them to know mistakes are forgiven, but they have in their hearts the strength to say "no" (one word I have difficulty with). Maddie was not a "mistake" (no matter what ANYONE would tell me). She is a blessing. Whether or not I had another child, I would always think about the decisions she would make, whether or not she would ever realize that Justin and I would have loved her even if she would have come years from her birthday. She is a blessing. Maddie has a brother watching her...but who doesn't? Macaiden is learning from her mistakes. He is learning how to get away with things. They BOTH have an amazing heart and are actually learning from each other. My kids are not a mistake. They are a gift from God...they are a gift to ME. The most difficult part in it all...I see my mistakes coming out in my kids. How do I overcome that? Maddie is my first draft...however...she is a first draft that isn't worth throwing away...why? Maddie's draft shapes me. Maddie's draft helps me realize where to stop. Maddie's draft helps me be a better mom. Maddie's draft is where there would be no reason for a "Repurposed Mom." My Maddie is my first draft. I am a mom who will make mistakes. I am a mom who will probably need proofing and editing, but Maddie is a draft that is helping "The Repurposed Mom" have purpose. My Repurpose for today : Maddie.
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AuthorI am an everyday mom who likes everyday things. I love taking everyday items and giving them a repurpose. Our number one seller is our candles! Archives
October 2019
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